Beer and Games: Revolution Straight Jacket & Wolfenstein

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Welp it has been a full year of Beer & Games folks. I know it is hard to emotionally accept and believe, but it has been a whole year since I wrote that world famous Mexican Cake review which was the catalyst in making Mexican Cake the “it” beer this year. You’re welcome Westbrook. I’m averaging an astounding 52.128 days per review folks. You don’t get that kind of dedication from the average internet journalist. I care you see. I care for my fans.

This week I’m drinking that Revolution Straight Jacket. It’s a 13% ABV barleywine aged in bourbon barrels. So you know how that goes. It is good. And with it I’m playing Wolfenstein: The New Order.   On the PC. Had to put my new graphics card to use in some way.

StraightJacket

It comes with a box so you know it tastes better

Not gonna lie (I never do), I really wasn’t expecting much from this new entry in the Wolfenstein saga. ID likes to chuck a Wolfenstein at us during the early days of a new console generation while the competition is limited. I guess they don’t have much faith in the franchise. And they really shouldn’t considering the piece of shit they threw at us last time. That is a whole nother rant I don’t feel like writing but you essentially know exactly what I would say.

Luckily they outsourced this one to Machine Games out of Sweden and it seems they just let them do whatever. They are a new studio basically made up of old StarBreeze developers. Which is good because Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Bucher Bay was the only (yes THE ONLY) quality thing to come out of the Riddick franchise (don’t worry, The New Order has a Star Breeze prison scene). I don’t care what you say, Pitch Black sucked. You know it sucked and I don’t know why you keep trying to convince me otherwise.

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He is talking about everything I write

If you haven’t noticed by the writing quality so far, Straight Jacket is a quality brew and dangerously drinkable for 13% ABV. Barleywines still aren’t my favorite style, but you chuck ‘em in a barrel and suddenly I am in love. Straight Jacket is definitely up there with the Sucabas of the BABW world. Don’t be surprised if this one starts making the rounds and people suddenly start freaking out about it out of nowhere, especially after this solid B&G review which is known to catapult beers to another level of ISO. Pure malted wood syrup through and through.

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Cheers Mate

Glad I had it while playing Wolfenstein. Because you see you just gotta let some of the bullshit of this game slip on by. You have to let that booze ease out the inevitable tension you will start feeling in your shoulders from playing certain parts of Wolfenstein. There are good chunks of this game that just plan suck. And you wonder why the hell they would even include it in the first place. The first 45 minutes are absolutely awful and fail in every essence of good game design. And then there are the intermittent levels where you hang out at your hideout performing basic fetch quests like finding a drill for some other thankless douche in your group. But if you were to completely ignore (you can’t actually ignore/skip them, I mean memory erase them) those sections, then you actually have quite the fun little FPS gem on your hand.

See this go around they nailed what Wolfenstein is all about. It is about a super human American killing mass genecide quantities of insultingly (is anyone really insulted by nazi stereotypes though?) stereotypical nazis with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. For the most part (more on that later) it doesn’t take itself too seriously even going as far as weaving in classic Wolfenstein 3D staples like the hidden rooms behind off looking paintings. And it nails the gameplay. The shooting is tight and responsive. And Wolfenstein shines when you are mowing down waves of enemies (limb per limb) with ridiculously over powered weaponry. It is just straight fun and simply feels “right”.

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Bringing back dat old school feel

So if you forget about the dumb fetch quest intermissions, the sewer missions, the horrible (and I mean horrible) submarine/hovercraft water mission, the sudden stark ending, etc , etc and simply go through the game enjoying the moments of fun, well then you will love Wolfenstein. And after re-reading some of this I do make this game sound like a braindead extravaganza, but there are certain emotional scenes throughout that are well orchestrated and do stick with you. Which I know sounds odd and it does clash with the overall goofiness of this game. Consistent tone is something lacking in this one. Somberly orchestrated music plays during cutscenes with surprisingly well done character development (Yes, somehow they make BJ Blazkowicz interesting!) right into another scene where you are blowing up robot dogs with a lazer. Again, if you go along for the ride it is a fun one. But it is bumpy.

Straight Jacket man (Editor’s Note: Wolfenstien’s jarring tonal shifts are only matched in motion sickness by my sudden switching of review topics in random increments of paragraphs). I am telling ya this is some world class BABW stuff. I can’t believe this isn’t getting the press it deserves. Hell, for a few months there you could just buy it online from the beer temple like its no big deal. It nails everything you want from a BABW. Sweet dark fruit vanilla charred wood. Wood being the main emphasis there. If you don’t like oak flavors then go ahead and stay away. This doesn’t hit the levels of some Hair of the Dog (insert generic American name here sometimes with a fruit) From the Wood beers which at times tastes like licking dry tree bark (yummy dry tree bark…), but it does hit close. The beer just straight up loiters on the tongue with straight bourbon soaked oak molasses chips.

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Games a little gory

So basically what I have summarized in my head while writing this is Wolfenstein the New Order is a flawed success. Machine Games successfully got back to the roots of what Wolfenstein is about (for the most part…) and it is fun, which is all that really matters. I’m just hoping the previous iteration of Wolfenstein didn’t tarnish the brand name so much that people overlook this entry. Straight Jacket is currently being completely overlooked by a bunch of King Henry sucking morons thinking pappy barrels make a difference. Don’t sit.

Revolution Straight Jacket: 9/10

Wolfenstein: The New Order: 7.9/10

 

 

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Author: Chris Fadeley View all posts by
I am UF alumni and a computer engineer. I know virtually every useless fact about videogames ever. I like computers and potatoes.

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