Beer & Games: Not Your Father’s Root Beer and #IDARB

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So here’s the deal.  I ain’t gonna go into details regarding the fact I haven’t written anything in a year even though I get daily emails begging (and some bribing) me to return to writing.  But basically I was busy doing absolutely nothing.  And that’s really all the explanation i got.

But in reality i just got kinda bored man.  Beers just been beer.  Stuff gets marginally better but whatever.  Once you have some Barrel Aged Vietnamese Speedway you can’t really compete.  That’s all I’m saying.  I was gonna write a beer and games for BAVSS (as a sequel to my regular Vietnamese Speedway Beer and Games) but i was too sucked into the greatness that is that beer that i fell into a depression that everything around me didn’t match how great that beer is (it gets an 11.2/10 on the B&G scale).  And you can’t write depressed broham.

BAVSS

Real Photo of Me w/ BAVSS wit Depression

But them cauldrons in nowhere Illinois be brewing and they pulled out some shit so out of left field that it was like god’s hand its magical self grabbing and raising me out.   And its a 5.9% abv hard root beer.  Say whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhat.

BAVSSwithFather

We all shall be healed

Yeah Not Your Father’s Root Beer is the best simply because it brings back honesty in the flavored beverage game.  I remember back in the day when these kids would be hussling Mike’s hard claiming its like lemonaide soda.  step back.  And then it was followed by Smirnoff Ice trying to tell me it be like super sugar sprite or something.  Stuff was straight up jolly rancher and tasted better coming out than in.

But for real, NYFRB5.9ABV be straight A&W up in this.  No burn.  No artificial flavor.  Maybe a little sweeter than your regular RB, but besides that its indistinguishable.  I fear for the kids though.  Small Town Brewery has started getting out of the Chi+Outer Region and entering my home state of FL and also Philly.  And if this gets into the hands of those bridging kids (kids who hate the taste of beverage but want to get tipped) then we have a problem.  This stuff its gonna start replacing Natty at those HSchool porch parties.  And then they get all crazier with us brewing a 10% ABV version and also a draft only 19+% ABV version.  And rumors are they taste exactly the same as the 5.9%.  (im editing this and if anyone made it through that last paragraph I applaud you.  that must have been rough).

rb

IDARB ain’t even on playstation.  I dont care though.

I’m pretty sure Small Town Brewery is actually an anti-christ cult coming up with the perfect plan for world domination where they get everyone hooked on their magic root beer alcohol and then will replace the 6pk 5.9% ABV version w/ the 19% ABV without telling anyone and in a single mass exodus will kill every alcohol drinker in one steady 3-tiered endorsed distro-ed death.  Cause see this stuff is so good in a few years everyone will be drinking it instead of beer.  And all the other breweries will go out of business, and all their workers will be laid off and will be depressed and in turn need a drink and their only option will be NYFRB.  And the high abv version tastes the same so no one will notice and then drink themselves to death accidentally.  its sad i had to explain that to you.  I don’t know what side the sadness falls on me or you.

Man none of this made sense.  But in summary Not Your Father’s Root Beer is the best flavored alcoholic beverage.  Bar none.  10/10 for style.  get some.

Yeah #IDARB is pretty tight.  8/10.  Put that on your magazine ad.  DL it support them indy devs.  Kids made a sports game.

 

 

 

 

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Author: Chris Fadeley View all posts by
I am UF alumni and a computer engineer. I know virtually every useless fact about videogames ever. I like computers and potatoes.

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