Telediction: Bad Timing

“Game of Thrones” has been taking particular attention to the opening shots of this season’s episodes. Last week, a woman ran through the forest as others followed her giggling. It’s all very “Le Déjeuner sur l’herbe” until Lord Bolton’s sadistic bastard, Ramsay Snow, and his nymphet girlfriend put an arrow through the girl’s leg and reward her to the hounds.

Following the theme of unexpected scenic plot twists, in “Breaker of Chains,” we saw Sansa running through the mist before making it to a boat not far from shore. When she reaches the deck, to our surprise and hers, Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish (aka “The Bae” – Let’s make this happen.) grabs her. Ser Davos was nothing but one of Littlefinger’s employees before he ordered an arrow to Ser Davos’ face (I’m sensing a trend of arrows this season). That necklace? It might as well have been rock candy.

Sansa has fallen in bad luck once again with the smarmiest of smarms, but Actress Sophie Turner promised that we’d eventually be rooting for her. That’s probably as close to a spoiler from the cast as we’re going to get, so one can only dream of the day Sansa takes charge of her life.

Littlefinger is quite the blackmailer. We know from last season that he has this creepy fantasy of marrying Catelyn Stark’s look-a-like. Apparently second chances are a forceful thing in the minds of men in “Game of Thrones.” While it’s still unclear if Littlefinger orchestrated Joffrey’s death directly, he definitely had a part in it. By making Sansa flee the scene of the crime, he effectively put Tyrion in more danger and made Sansa’s return to King’s Landing impossible without beheading. The guy is practically stroking his Persian cat in his lair and laughing maniacally over a fireplace. The truth is, I’m expecting (praying for) some sort of “Pirates of the Caribbean” rip off on the boat.

While Sansa’s on the boat, Joffrey’s funeral procession is about to go down and these delightful little eye pillows make their sartorial return.


Jon Arryn in Season 1 (above) and King Joffrey in Season 4 (below).


Besides the cartoon eye pillows, which I commend the costuming department for their attention to detail and consistency through the seasons, the scene is nothing short of gloomy. The lighting is dim, save for a sliver coming from the real world outside and candles everywhere. Tywin picks the worst times to “move on,” and while Cersei and her son Tommen mourn the death of Joffrey, Tywin is already quizzing Tommen on what makes a good king. It’s neither holiness, nor justice, nor strength that makes a good king. It’s wisdom to know when to listen to your grandpa, or at least that’s what Tywin will have him believe. As I said last week, Tywin wants power, but doesn’t want the face of it. That’s why being the hand of the king is such a prized position for him to be in and why he’ll never give it up and return to Casterly Rock.

“This is hardly the place or the time for this,” Cercei tells her father, but he doesn’t listen. I start to feel bad for her and realize that the bane of all her problems lies in her daddy issues. Then Jaime comes in and rapes her, and it’s never the time for that, but it’s a new level for “Game of Thrones” even, while such an act of violent aggression could be performed in the same space their son lies dead. The family issues are all too much. The only normal Lannister seems to be Tyrion, who you already know got the short end of the stick (no pun intended), sitting in prison waiting for his trial. His right-hand man, Podrick is being pressured to testify against him in exchange to become a knight, but Tyrion wont have Podrick die for Tyrion’s name. He orders his friend and trusty sidekick to leave King’s Landing at once while he waits for his trial.

Because Tywin is nothing if not inappropriate, it’s not far-fetched to assume that he wouldn’t mind throwing his youngest son under the bus if it’ll make the trial go by faster. In keeping with the mantra, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer,” which he took with the Tyrells, he enlists Prince Oberyn of Dorne to preside over Tyrion’s trial, by effectively blackmailing the prince and telling him he could basically put him in the spotlight since the prince is known to have a very public expertise in the knowledge of poisons.

So while in King’s Landing the usual scheming is going on, it’s hard to remember sometimes there’s a war going on in the North between the Wildlings and the Brothers of the Night’s Watch. Everyone is escaping those zombie looking things and that’s why south of the wall is the place to be. Unfortunately for the Crows, they seem to be in deep water. The Wildlings have teamed up with the scary cannibals, the Thenn, who are more ruthless than their assumed allies. They kill entire families and roast their limbs, and they’re out for the Crows next. Jon Snow knows that a hundred brothers are no match for a Wilding-Thenn combo, so he proposes going back north of the wall and seeing Gilly’s clan, killing off everyone before they spill to their captors that the Crows actually are not as well-equipped as their Facebook profile makes it seem.

Gilly is sent to a neighboring village because rape is an issue and Sam wants to protect her. Sometimes we need a tender moment in “Game of Thrones,” and I’m pleased to see that these moments come from such great characters such as Sam and Gilly instead of more obvious (i.e. “hotter”) choices.

But if you’re like me, you’re waiting all episode to see if you’ll finally get a glimpse of Dany and her dragons. I’ll admit, her story line is becoming a bit stale so far. It seems to be a mere continuation of last season. Without her presence in the episode before, I can’t help but think her storyline will be condensed this season. I can’t wait for actual progress to be made again, not that some sort of progress isn’t being made, just I think it’s time for serious plot advancement in the larger “Game of Thrones” scheme with her character. In this episode, she makes it to another city, Mereen, and has to prove herself once again. Of course, she does with the help of Dario Narahis (who I’m still sore over the casting change) and her army that catapults barrels full of the dead girls’ collars to the slaves and their owners at Mereen.

Don’t say she doesn’t know how to send a message. Dany would make a great mob boss, don’t you think?


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Author: Claudia Marina View all posts by
Journalism student at the University of Florida. Sally Draper is my spirit animal. I love writing about TV and how it affects culture. Occasionally I watch bad TV, but reviews make it better.

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