Telediction: I won’t die for this S***t

Who’s ready for a trial by combat? I’d like to think that if I were in King’s Landing during this time I’d be this lady:

Citizen journalism at its best.

“The Laws of Gods and Men” was one of those jaw-dropping episodes thanks to the ending scene during Tyrion’s trial. The rest of the episode was overhyped and if it weren’t for Tyrion’s episode-ending speech at the end of the hour, I would have given the episode a weak review.

Take for example that heroic Ironborn boat ride to save Theon Greyjoy from Ramsey Snow. The musical score was perfectly ironic. It built up so much anticipation with the sense of power, duty and honor these shows live for only to end with Theon’s sister and her whole Ironborn army running back to their boats once Ramsey released the hounds. But Asha what about your brother, Theon?

“My brother is dead,” she says.

And in a way he is. Lets forget how unheroic that scene turned out to be and consider the underlying message of Asha’s statement. Theon has been psychologically manipulated to believe he is Reek, a helpless, tortured animal. Ramsay tortured him to the point that he’s not even human anymore (neither Ramsay nor Theon, I guess), but every good torturer knows the power of a little positive reinforcement every now and then. Theon’s got a case of Stockholm syndrome. Ramsey’s got him so good, Theon/Reek is even starting to empathize with him, but Ramsey uses a bit of sympathy in return to hone him in even closer praising his pet for his loyalty and even bathing him.

Then there’s the Stannis plot. The rightful king of the seven kingdoms lord of light whatever king needs some cash to fund his quest to be seated on the Iron Throne, so he goes to the Iron Bank. The anti-lords at the Iron Bank are in some sort of pseudo alliance with the Lannisters, but as it turns out all that Lannister money is borrowed and they’re heavily in debt. Ser Davos speaks for Stannis and tells the anti-lords that Stannis always delivers, just look at his mutilated hand. Stannis. Always. Delivers. They get the money and sail off toward plot progression.

In the opposite of plot progression, Dany is still on that “it’s tough being Queen” tip. It turns out that her “I’ll serve injustice with justice” mantra might not be all that just. Her dragons are costing people money and ruining their businesses, and out of the 200 people waiting with complaints, she finds that her ruling has actually harmed the people she’s trying to win over. One man comes to see her to request that she let his father be removed from his crucifix and receive a proper burial. Apparently not everyone was behind the killing and posting of the slave girls, including this man’s father. Dany can do nothing else but grant him that right if she’s playing up the merciful leader, but if she wants to keep up the ruthless leader stance she’ll do it with a big harrumph.

Tywin Lannister says they have to do something about Dany, after years of saying that. We’ll see what happens I guess, I’m not on my toes just yet.

But what I really want to talk about is that trial.

Everyone knows the entire thing was rigged. I’m still under the suspicion that Tywin Lannister was behind this whole thing with Meargery Tyrell’s grandma and Littlefinger. Everyone called as a witness speaks against Tyrion, which is frankly expected. Besides Cercei’s background manipulation, everyone generally doesn’t like or care for Tyrion, which makes Tyrion’s statement that he’s been on trial for being a dwarf his whole life true. Even Shae turns against him with a surprisingly believable story about how he promised to kill Joffrey for Sansa so that they could finally consummate their marriage.

Jaime is the only person who’s really fighting for Tyrion, but he can only do so much, which means in secrecy. He pleads to his father and asks him to spare Tyrion’s life. Without a question Tywin will do it if and only if Jaime leaves King’s Landing and returns to Casterly Rock where he belongs. Jaime agrees, but unfortunately doesn’t get the chance to live out his lonely demise because after Shae’s “testimonial,” Tyrion agrees to plead guilty to being a dwarf.

“I did not do it. I did not kill Joffrey but I wish that I had. Watching your vicious bastard die gave me more relief than a thousand lying whores. I wish I was the monster you think I am. I wish I had enough poison for the whole pack of you. I would gladly give my life to watch you all swallow it,” he tells the people of King’s Landing.

And right when we think that’s the end of Tyrion Lannister, a glimmer of hope appears from the past. Tyrion’s no stranger to a trial-by-combat and thus requests one, and lawfully Tywin has to oblige. The only thing in question now is who will he fight and will anyone fight in his place?

This one goes out to Tyrion Lannister:


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Author: Claudia Marina View all posts by
Journalism student at the University of Florida. Sally Draper is my spirit animal. I love writing about TV and how it affects culture. Occasionally I watch bad TV, but reviews make it better.

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